Ugly House Photos

“I feel sad about selling this house.”

“Don’t even think about moving any boxes.”

“I found the bird.”

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Recently announced: J.J. Abrams will direct the new Star Wars movie.  These San Tan Valley, Arizona sellers are super excited about the news!  Even the dog’s tail is waggin’.

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We’re trying to take real estate photos to promote the house.  Please get up from the couch.  And turn off the TV.

Please get up from the table and remove the dog.  Thank you.

It’s not funny.  Please get out of the picture.

Please hurry up and go outside.  And while you’re out there, try to find the missing cabinet door.  [Thanks to our reader, Grumpy, for the correction; the cabinet door is open].

Holding the door closed won’t solve the problem.  Please repair it before buyers show up.

You do keep a very clean house.  Now please step back.

Please turn on some lights on your way out.

It might be time to remove the Santa lights, the plastic tree, the wreath, and the culturally insensitive sleeping man statue.  Oh, and the porch light is crooked.

Good idea.  Clear off the table.

He’s texting mom to clear off her bed.  [Leesville, Louisiana]

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“Can’t you see I’m busy?!!  I’m in the middle of an epic 6-hour battle on World of WarCraft?!”

“Look.  First I’m gonna text my girlfriend, then I’ll finish my cereal, and then I’ll clean the kitchen.”

“Where’s my juice box?”

The photo’s caption reads, “Major sewer damage.”  There is some major yard damage too.

“I finished my sandwich.”

“He keeps following me around.”

“I am so bored.”  [Lafayette, Louisiana]

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Buying a home is supposed to be the American dream.  The buyers of this home just got a nightmare.  The house had been in the family for years.  They refinanced in 1999 for $73,000.  They refinanced again in April 2006 for $140,000.  See if you can find $67,000 in home improvements anywhere in this house.  It sold recently, in this condition, as a short sale for $50,000.

Messy bedroom.

Is that a Twilight Eclipse movie poster?

Mom is very proud of her house.  And her chihuahua dog.  And the awesome paint job.

It was painted with careful attention to detail.

We’re not a fan of their decorating style.

It’s not looking any better from the opposite view.

Dirty bird cage.  Broken window patched up with plastic and duct tape.

Damaged wall.  From a large dog?

Damaged door.

The kitchen is in better shape than expected.

Two TVs.

We’ll look at the bathrooms next.

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Why are pets in real estate promotional photos?!

Potential buyers will be terrified about losing an arm and a leg in this transaction, literally.

Evil kitty in Bedford, Indiana.

Fifi is wondering why her owner hasn’t put away the Swiffer and the prescription bottle.

“They feed me a lot.”  [Decatur, Illinois]

They couldn’t move the cage out of the photo?

Mama spent $200 on that fancy cat bed, but Ginger prefers the bigger bed.

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2013 is here!  Time for a fresh start.  New resolutions.  New goals.  New outlook on life.

We’d like to share some thoughts with you from several home sellers.

Impossible Is Nothing!!  Above it, it reads, “For what doth it profit man, if he gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his own soul.”  (Matthew 16:26) Thank you, parents, for lowering your profits by allowing your child to scribble on the walls and ceiling and then leaving it for the buyers.  [click to enlarge photo]  [Glendale, Arizona]

“Home is where your story begins.”  [Another Glendale, Arizona home]

“The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes.”  The kids put that up so mom wouldn’t complain!  [Phoenix]

“Love grows best in little houses.”  [Another pithy Phoenix seller]

“You have a heritage, Honor it.  You will meet temptation, Withstand it.  You possess a testimony, Share it.  You know the truth, Live it.”  You buy paint, you repaint the room.  [Phoenix]

“It’s all good.”  [Phoenix]

“Love begins in a moment, grows over time, and lasts for an eternity.”  Is the cat dead?  [Woodward, Oklahoma]

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I’ve got all my photos with me.  Plus a bird.

Memories…like the corners of my mind.

Family reunion.

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This is the primary photo for a Mesa, Arizona home listing.  It’s the only photo of the front of the house.

Now there’s a photo of the garage door lifted.  Say hello to the cat.

Now we go inside to the dining room and see a vacuum cleaner, fake flowers, and a little girl.

There’s a close-up of a cabinet.  Are they planning to fix the broken drawer on the left?

Imagine all things, it says.

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As seen in an Avondale, Arizona home.  Rabbits and some cartoon figure.

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