Ugly House Photos

This Lodi, California home can be yours if the price is right.  Here we see Susannah modeling the home for us.

Built in 1963, this home boasts 8,500 square feet of living space, seven bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms, six fireplaces, three floors, and an elevator!

Check out that light!  Octopus gone wild!

Truly one of a kind.

Renee is proudly showing us the living room.

You never know when you’ll need a full-size table in your bedroom.

Jackpot!

It serves as a wedding chapel on weekends?

This kitchen was considered modern in its day.

Beanbag chairs are included.

More visual distractions in this room.  Thank you, Ken, for sending the photos.

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Knotted window curtains again.  Ugh.  Make it stop.  [Mesa, Arizona]

Now it’s trendy to make fat knots?  [Phoenix]

And then really big knots??!?!  [Lancaster, Ohio]

And now people are braiding their curtains?  [Boone, North Carolina]

Here’s how the curtains look like after they are unknotted.  [Chandler, Arizona]

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These Houston, Texas owners aren’t the cleanest sellers around.  Let’s take a look.

Filthy carpet.

What’s the bacteria count in the carpet?  Should the mayonnaise jar be refrigerated?

The cleanest room of the house.

Cardboard acts as an insulator if you have a drafty window?

S.O.S. is right.  This home needs help.

The back side of the kitchen.  Note the two air fresheners.

The dining room.

A pop of color in the family room.

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Help!  I need somebody (to repair me).

Help!  Not just anybody.

Help!  You know I need someone.  Help!

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down.

Help me get my feet back on the ground.

Won’t you please, help me?

Help.

Help.

Help.

Help.

Help.

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Cluttered Tempe, Arizona home.  And it’s a short sale, of course.

Snap, crackle, pop.

The pantry is open, literally.

At least the pot rack is cleared off.

There’s more stuff.

“If you pay full price, I’ll throw in the 2nd refrigerator.”

The curtains cover up the storage area.  Need used tires?  They’ve got ‘em.

Lots of towels in the bathroom.

Unmade bed.

Convenient bed for all-night gaming sessions.

Cluttered bedroom with coffee maker!

Elvis!  Rolls of toilet paper above the bed for late-night accidents.

Another unmade bed.

Let the grass tickle your feet as you relax on the swing.

Enjoy the sparkling clean swimming pool!

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This Chandler, Arizona home is ready for buyers to visit.  They’ve staged the home professionally.  Expecting multiple offers above asking price.

Visitors can pick out a coffee cup to take as a thank you gift.

Washer & dryer are included.  Hangers are negotiable.

There’s so much counter space in the kitchen.  Feel free to cover every square inch.

Power drill not included.  Cow?  Maybe.

Fine dining.

Spacious bathroom.

What’s not to like?

Nice bedroom.

Lush landscaping.

Covered patio.

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…Dirty mop water in a dining room.  Yuk.  [Phoenix]

…Anything other than a dining table & chairs in a dining room.  [Trenton, New Jersey]

…Or distracting knick-knacks in a dining area.  [Another Trenton, New Jersey home]

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The hide-away-bed sofa was not closed up in time for the real estate photo.  Other items should be hidden away too.

Dinner is served.

Lunch is served.

Lots of counter space in the kitchen.

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Welcome to our home.  We’re ready to sell.

TV’s on!!  There’s a dog on the dirty floor.

The seller can iron and cook at the same time, but not tidy up.

The bathroom needs help.

Laundry room.  The dryer exhaust vent isn’t very effective if it’s going straight up.  Lint will collect at the bottom.

The backyard is in tip-top shape.  Sure to please buyers.

This was a short sale.  Go figure.

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Might have to put some items away before selling.  Just a suggestion.  Like lingerie and the fuzzy dice.  Oh, and the stupid knotted curtain.

Refrigerator stuff, chili peppers, Mickey Mouse, plates, extra stuff on top of the microwave, etc.  Why is the microwave so high?

The Mardi Gras masks and the assorted clutter on the counters.

You’ll see in the next photos that the house appears to be clean, but the photos don’t do any justice.  Too many visual distractions in each photo.

Organized but…

More unnecessary stuff.

Proper lighting helps.

Your eyes don’t know where to go when there are distractions.

The collectibles keep your eyes from noticing the faux rolled paint.

Maybe it’s the angle of the photo?

Foil in the windows.  Different types of window coverings.  An unnecessary hat dead center in the photo.

Random shoes, dusty fan, more foil.

Big blue plastic flower and other distractions in the office.

Visual clutter outside.

Sounds like we’re being really picky, but when you add all of the photos together, it gets confusing to buyers.  What do you remember about the house?

Attention to detail needed.

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