Ugly House Photos

One of my favorite Simpsons episodes is the Valentine’s Day episode where Ralphie gives Lisa a Valentines card.  He explains it to her, “It says I choo-choose you and it’s a picture of a train.”

Here’s a stained glass picture of a train in Sun City, Arizona.  Will you choo-choose this house to buy?

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When buyers search for homes on-line, they screen out those they don’t want to see.  Mostly based on photos.  You only get a few seconds to excite a potential buyer.  This Sun Lakes, Arizona seller was too scared to go out onto the patio?

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We recommend putting away family photos when selling.

Visually distracting.

Too personal.

Detracts from the kitchen.

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Digital cameras are great.  Photos don’t cost a dime.  So it’s okay to take several photos and pick the best one.

Why not take a photo with the flash on?  Or with the lights on?

Are fisheye lens necessary?  They create creepy photos, especially of bathrooms.

Is that a photo of a Ford Focus?  We can’t tell.  It’s out of focus.

Maximum exposure is good for promoting a home.  Over exposure on a photo is not.

Why include this photo…?

…When you could just stick with this one?

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Pot rack in your face!

Pot rack in your way.

Pot rack blocking the view of the cabinets.

Rustic pot rack adds to the dark, dusty feel of the kitchen.

Pot rack blocks your view out the window.

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Twisted window drapes.

The conversation goes like this:  “Babe, see the Love sign above the bed?  Hint hint.” “Then go close the window curtains.”  10 minutes later, “I can’t get these cockamamie curtains untwisted!  I’m not in the mood now.”  Smile.  It worked.  Greatest idea ever?

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Shower curtain filled with dogs!

Shower curtain with dolphins trying to escape the evil fishermen of Taiji, Japan.

Brown shower curtain with gray tulips.

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How do you convince someone to make their bed when selling?

Making a bed doesn’t require that much time or energy.

And to tidy up the bedroom before selling?

First impressions matter when selling.

Buyers eliminate homes to see based on photos.  [Olean, New York]

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Minimalist design.

Tile accents complete this Tolleson, Arizona kitchen.

Going for hotdog realness.  Ketchup Red, Mustard Yellow, and Relish Green colors.

Red kitchen cabinet paint juxtaposed with hunter green & cream striped wallpaper.  The refrigerator sign reads, “Have you magnified your calling today?”

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It’s a good idea if sellers are not visible in real estate promotional photos.  Sometimes we get a glimpse of them.  [Glendale, Arizona]

This seller put his best feet forward.  [Another Glendale home]

Time to take his medication.  [Sun City, Arizona]

He’s contemplating the home staging design plan for the living room.  [Trenton, New Jersey]

Calmly waiting for offers.  [Another Trenton home]

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