Ugly House Photos

Those window drapes are quite dramatic.  So is the sponge paint and the flowery wallpaper.

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This Swarthmore, Pennsylvania home is so over the top that it’s at the bottom again.  Look at all the stuff piled up around the fireplace?

There’s a banana tree painted on the wall.  In fact, the entire wall is painted to look like a block wall with arches.  Plastic covered sofa!

Monkey see, monkey do in the master bedroom.

The dining room?

Busy looking kitchen.  How will buyers react to this house?  They’ll leave with headaches.

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What’s worse?  The ugly walls with uneven pink paint?  The ugly couches?  The clutter on the walls?  The wallpaper border?

There’s more!  Missing wallpaper border.  Ugly shiny lamp.  Ugly window drapes.

What’s worse?  The red hot wall paint?  The $5 street corner horse blanket?  The shiny gold drapes?  Or the Jonas Brothers posters?

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The last thing people want to see in a bathroom is smeared feces on the walls!  What were they thinking?  What do their friends, family, and guests think?  What do buyers think?  Do they pinch their noses and run out the door?

Another Phoenix home decided to do a similar feces-inspired paint design too.

It was so successful, they did it in the next bathroom!  For regular viewers of this blog, you’ll recognize the infamous John F. Long builder cabinets.  Fun.

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You wonder if the guy at the Home Depot paint counter was secretly laughing when the order was placed.  Check out the crazy color choices at this Phoenix home.

Purple, blue, green, yellow, and red in the kitchen.  Buyers love dark kitchens?

Yellow, green, and blue in the living room (and on the ceiling) with wallpaper border too.

Blue and mustard yellow in a bedroom.  They might have spray painted the floor with black paint; see the over spray on the closet wall?

Orange and green in a room with no windows.  The bent ceiling fan blades tell me this was probably a foreclosure home and the owner was mad.  Ceiling fans never come down by pulling on them.  I’ve seen this a hundred times.  Eventually the angry person gives up.

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In every aspect of life, half of the people will be below average and half will be above average.  Here’s a Phoenix home that brings down the average for everyone.

Crazy kitchen design.  Apple trees.  Silver paint background.  Red everywhere.  Gold paint accents.  They even put gold paint over the tile grout.

The ugly living room with various paint colors and other designs.  And the peel-and-stick vinyl tiles aren’t staying down.

They remodeled the bathroom themselves with stones and flagstone pieces.

The other bathroom has unfinished paint work.  Silver paint on some of the cabinetry.  Peeling vinyl floor tiles again.

The master bedroom with ugly sponge painting.  The ceiling was not faux painted; that’s a bad repair job.

They converted the garage into a bedroom, a stupid idea.  Buyers want garages.  Ugly paint, bad ceiling again, ugly mirrors, ugly floor.  Someone please buy this house and make it normal again.

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Ultra-tacky, over-the-top, gaudy, wacky, bizarre home in Palm Springs, California.  Built in 1965 and owned by someone with questionable taste.  You won’t believe your eyes.  [disclaimer:  this blog is not responsible for nightmares, flashbacks, or other mental trauma resulting from viewing these photos.]

Let’s first hang out at the wet bar/lounge.  It looks like an old casino.

Family room with ugly couches and a full wall of mirrors.

Original and now outdated kitchen.  Check out the velvet & wood window blinds!

One of several bedrooms with padded headboards.  Chartreuse is such a pretty color.

The red room.  How many lines of coke were sniffed from that coffee table?

Very unique candelabras flanking the fireplace.

Everything’s red or orange.  It’s like a vampire hang-out.

Gaudy bathroom with sunken Roman tub, pink carpet, pink velour wallpaper, & orange drapes.  Look how high the back is on the make-up chair!

The formal dining room.

A game room for playing poker?  Pink velour swivel chairs!  A scale on the table for weighing out pills and cocaine?

A very pink vanity area for putting on make-up and perfume.  Chanel No. 5, anyone?

And finally, another delightful bedroom.  Sweet dreams.

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Puke-pink flowery bed spread and matching drapes.  Gag.  And pink walls.  And Easter Bunny and angel hand puppets on the wall.

Let’s block the window.  We wouldn’t want any natural light to enter this family room now would we?

More of those super-ugly John F. Long kitchen cabinets.

The back yard’s a real treat too.  It comes with an almost-inground pool, an ugly wood fence, and lots of clothespins.

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Yuk, yuk, yuk.  Tacky hand-painted brick fireplace.  With a lot of other unfinished detail work.

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Unbelievable.  What were they thinking?!  That red paint is hideous.  Looks almost sinister.  And it’s not even painted well.  How many gallons of primer will be needed to cover it up for good?  Will buyers want to spend their time and money on this house?

Here’s another room.  The watermelon room?

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