Ugly House Photos

This Cadillac, Michigan seller hangs her pots all in a row (thank you) and not over the sink or middle of the kitchen (thank you).

“We want to block the view out the window.”  [Elmira, New York]  You could take the pots down for the photo, you know.  Looks like a very nice, clean kitchen otherwise.

These Peoria, Arizona sellers like to hang plastic grapes and other stuff from their pot rack.

Not a bad idea.  A strip of wood and some nails.  At least you don’t hit your head on the pots and pans.

Kudos to these Glendale, Arizona sellers.  Seriously.  Great job!  They still include the pot rack (with handy built-in lights too) in the spotless kitchen photo, but no stupid pots to clutter up the photo.  This is how you present a pot rack to buyers.

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This Avondale, Arizona seller says, “If the buyers don’t hurry up looking at my house, I’ll have to use a planter as a toilet.”

“I’m checking out UglyHousePhotos.com to make sure my house doesn’t show up there.”

“Welcome.”

“Yes, welcome.  Buy my house instead.”

The chickens and the dead tree stay with the house.

“Full price offer and you can have the TV behind me.”

“But we’re keeping the other two TV sets.”

“It’s been so hot in Camden, New Jersey this summer.  Hurry and buy my home so I can move to Florida.”

“I folded the laundry.  Next, I’m going to spray for bugs.”  [Carlsbad, New Mexico]

“I remember the day they installed the carpet.  It was a sunny day in the fall of 1970.”   [another Carlsbad, New Mexico home]

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Tempe, Arizona home with nice flooring and paint, but cluttered.

Another view of the living room.

The master bedroom.

Another view.

Another bedroom.  The kids need to brush up on their cleaning skills.

As Ace Ventura said, “Don’t go in there.”  When you see 2 big toilet plungers, there is a history behind it.  Ongoing problem with the seller and/or the plumbing?

Messy kitchen.

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We’ll take you on a journey through four homes with artistic walls.

First stop, the dead trees house.  The seller could have branched out to more buyers with neutral paint.

There’s the inspiration for the murals:  a dead tree.

Second home:  Flames of glory.  The Olympic flame?  Will buyers be fired up about this?

Third home:  Electronic circuit board and giraffe skin on the ceiling?  It will be a pain in the neck, literally, to repaint that ceiling.

Fourth home:  Hallucination mural in Glendale, Arizona.

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This gourmet kitchen will take your culinary senses to new heights.  No detail or expense was skipped.  Custom-made aged hickory wood cabinets.  Hand-crafted platinum sink.  Imported marble slab counters.  Designer china.

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A new trend?  Keeping beer in your bedroom.  Some suds before slumber?

What’s the drinking age in Pennsylvania?  Either she’s too young to drink Bud Light or she’s getting too old for stuffed animals.  From a New Castle, Pennsylvania home.

Scene:  Medford, Oregon bedroom.  Husband to wife:  “Beer me, Babe.”

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Something caused those stains in the carpet.  The wall looks stained too.

Maybe it’s time for a new kitchen?

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Have a hole in a wall?  Patch it with expanding spray foam sealant!  Works every time!  As demonstrated in an Avondale, Arizona home.

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Amber & Carson Eilers are Realtors in my office who buy ugly homes and renovate them.  Amber provided me with photos of a recent remodel.

Before Kitchen.  Ugh, those ugly John F. Long (builder) cabinets.  Please, Amber, get rid of them!

After Kitchen.  The cabinets are gone!

Before Kitchen.

After Kitchen.

Before Kitchen & Pantry.

After Kitchen & Pantry.

Before Family Room.  With fake brick paneling and mirror tiles.

After Family Room.

Before Swimming Pool.  Thank you, Amber, for sharing your photos with us.

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Neglected swimming pool in Avondale, Arizona.

Selling feature?

Phoenix had a recent death due to West Nile virus (caused by mosquitoes).  Maricopa County has an environmental program to treat green pools with chemicals to kill mosquitoes.  Yes, people are living in this house, including young children.  Why risk their health?

Keep everything.

Display everything.

Sell the dolls and other items to pay for pool cleaning?

The least cluttered surface in the house.

Why is the microwave so dirty?

It’s all valuable stuff.

They paid good money for it.

They’re hoping for a quick sale.

Their internet browser seems to have blocked all websites related to home staging.

On the next episode of Sell This House…

There’s plenty of room on top of the dresser for more water bottles and stuff.

They made their bed.

Grab a shoe and go.

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