Ugly House Photos

They’re back.  Those ugly John F. Long builder kitchen cabinets.  Yuk.

Are those spice wood cabinets?

They look like they collect a lot of dust.

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Yes, it’s the return of the ugly kitchen cabinets from builder John F. Long.  This time, the owner customized his kitchen with bric-a-brac and a spray painted pegboard pot rack.

Copycats!  They stole the brick backsplash idea from their neighbors.

Hardly any counter space in this kitchen.  No dishwasher either.

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Some of our readers think these John F. Long (builder) cabinets look like chocolate bars.

Some owners paint over their ugly cabinets to make them uglier.

All of those notches, bumps, and such on the cabinet doors help collect & trap dust & grime.

If you get bored, you can play tic-tac-toe!

A rare John F. Long kitchen with a window over the sink plus a pantry.  This is the luxury model.

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Pyramid power tile pattern in the bathroom.

More patterned tile in the kitchen with John F. Long (builder) cabinets.

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They’re baaaaack.  More ugly John F. Long builder cabinets.

No windows allowed!

The cabinets were used in bathrooms too.

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There they are:  two more homes with ugly kitchen cabinets from the 1970s by builder John F. Long.

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If a home has been on the market for almost one year, there is a reason.  You can’t change location, so it’s either price or condition.  In the case of this horrible Phoenix foreclosure home, it’s both price and condition.  Let’s take a look at this total disaster.

The hall bathroom.  They wallpapered the shower surround!  And see how effective wallpaper is at repelling water?  Mold & mildew behind it.

I heard water running when I got the key out front.  Water was running in two locations in the house:  the laundry area and the toilet.  See the ripples in the toilet?  See the broken toilet seat with duct tape repair?

Recognize those ugly cabinets?  Yep, John F. Long (home builder) cabinets.  Dirty too.  And ugly green floor tiles.

This is the master bathroom.  Pretty isn’t it?
Note:  these pictures were taken blindly; all the windows are boarded up and there is no electricity so it was click and shoot and see the reality.

The kitchen wasn’t that bad, for what you’d expect.  The smell of cat urine throughout the house was.  Cough cough.

The exhaust hood is covered in dirt, cat hair, and cobwebs.

This is the laundry area of the house.  It’s located in a corner of the kitchen.  Both hoses had running water.  The floor (with 3 layers of cheap flooring) was wet and squishy.  Welcome to moldville and mildewtown.

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We were just about to call a ban on more Phoenix home builder John F. Long kitchen cabinet photos being posted here.  And then these two gems popped up.  It wouldn’t be fair to hide them from the world.

If you can’t beat ugly, embrace ugly.  Paint the kitchen cabinets silver!

In this home, they painted the cabinets black.

The wallpaper’s almost as pretty as the green/black tile.

The paint pattern is very consistent so they purposely painted with an under coated roller.

Left over black paint was used in this bedroom.

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1970s builder John F. Long approved these ugly cabinets for his homes in west Phoenix.  The architect for these homes did not believe kitchens should have windows.  Let’s take a look at four kitchens.  Hopefully the buyers of these foreclosed homes will replace the cabinet doors.

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A reader thought we are being too critical on this blog and not giving enough real advice about preparing a home for sale.  Let’s see what we can do with this messy Phoenix home.

Messy bedroom filled with stuff, stuff, and more stuff.  Valentine’s balloons, airbrushed posters, fake vines, masks, etc.
Our advice:  completely clear out the bedroom except for the dresser, the lamp, and the bed (although a bed frame would be nice).  Open the curtains for the photo and when buyers stop by.

The next bedroom is just as cluttered but a bit more organized.
Our advice:  get rid of the wallpaper border, the gazillion posters, the stuffed animal hammock, and everything else except the desk and bed.  Move the desk against the left wall so buyers’ eyes won’t focus on it when they see the room.

Another bedroom with a ton of kid’s toys.
Our advice:  remove everything including the shelves, repaint the room to a neutral color, and only leave the bed behind.

The master bedroom has a lovely mirror as a head board.  Hmmm.  And a scary horn in the corner.  Papers all over the bed.
Our advice:  remove the porn mirror, the horn, the shelf, and all the junk in the corners.

The kitchen features ugly John F. Long builder cabinets, too much stuff on the counters, and lots of refrigerator magnets & clutter.
Our advice:  clear off the counters, clear off the frig, and change the cabinet doors if possible.  Add more lighting in the kitchen.

Visitors are greeted by a fish tank at the front door of the living room.
Our advice:  remove the fish tank, the gigantic display case, the $9.99 sports blanket bought from a guy’s van on a street corner, and the $19.99 Big Lots fake tree.

Another view of the living room.
Our advice:  clear out everything except for the couch.  A desk does not belong in a living room.  Probably a good idea to reposition the couches too.

A bonus room with mismatched sofas and a bunch of other stuff.
Our advice:  put matching slip covers on the sofas and move one to under the window or any position so they’re not side by side; preferably get rid of one of them.  Remove the other clutter from the room.  Give the room a purpose.  Is it a reading room?  A kid’s play room?  Or could you move the desk from the living room and make this a nice office?

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