Ugly House Photos

She saved everything over the decades.  The spaghetti of wire in the middle of the living room is the vacuum cleaner.  From a Mesa, Arizona home.

The photo’s caption reads, “dining room.”  Looks like the dining table sailed away.  Knotted window curtain.

Things are looking busy in the den as well.

The photo’s caption reads, “kitchen nook.”  We’re not a fan of all the busyness.

The kitchen could use some tidying up.

You never know when you’ll need three dozen coffee mugs.

She arranged the toilet paper by softness and by ply thickness.  We arranged the exposed toilet paper by bacteria count.

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This Cadillac, Michigan seller hangs her pots all in a row (thank you) and not over the sink or middle of the kitchen (thank you).

“We want to block the view out the window.”  [Elmira, New York]  You could take the pots down for the photo, you know.  Looks like a very nice, clean kitchen otherwise.

These Peoria, Arizona sellers like to hang plastic grapes and other stuff from their pot rack.

Not a bad idea.  A strip of wood and some nails.  At least you don’t hit your head on the pots and pans.

Kudos to these Glendale, Arizona sellers.  Seriously.  Great job!  They still include the pot rack (with handy built-in lights too) in the spotless kitchen photo, but no stupid pots to clutter up the photo.  This is how you present a pot rack to buyers.

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Just released book titled Life At Home In the Twenty-First Century:  32 Families Open Their Doors took a closer look at the homes and lifestyles of 32 middle-class families in Los Angeles.

Some findings, which relate to this blog:

“The rise of Costco and similar stores has prompted so much stockpiling - you never know when you’ll need 600 Dixie cups or a 50-pound bag of sugar - that three out of four garages are too full to hold cars.”  [Note: I added photos from my collection as close to matching the quote; photos are not from the book;  photo from a Phoenix home]

“Managing the volume of possessions is such a crushing problem in many homes that it elevates levels of stress hormones for mothers.”  [photo from a Canton, Ohio home]

“A refrigerator door cluttered with magnets, calendars, family photos, phone numbers, and sports schedules generally indicates the rest of the home will be in a similarly chaotic state.”  [photo from a Kearney, Nebraska home]

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Nice, clean kitchen except for the cluttered refrigerator.

Spotless kitchen except for…

Decent kitchen except for…

One more example.

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Messy Mesa, Arizona home.  Everything’s on display.

The dining area.

The cluttered kitchen.

The lion’s den?

We pan left to more clutter.

Take the plunge and write an offer!!

This photo’s caption reads, “Recently retiled patio.”  We would prefer “recently swept patio” instead.

Weeds!

More weeds!

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Let’s go on a listing presentation and pretend we are going to sell this home.

Thank you for inviting me over.  Show me your home.  Let’s start in the kitchen.  Would I like some leftover spaghetti?  No thank you.

No, really, you don’t have to heat it up for me.

Nice to meet you, sir.  I see you like baseball caps.  There are two on display on the cabinets.  Will those be staying there while the house is up for sale?

Oh, you have a son.  Maybe he can help you clear off the refrigerator.

Let’s go over the paperwork to list your home for sale.  Then we’ll look at the rest of the house.

This is your master bedroom.  I’m not a big fan of clothes and lumpy beds.  Can we straighten this up before buyers arrive?

I see you went with a monochromatic color scheme in the living room.  Did you sponge paint the room and ceiling yourself?  I can tell.

Maybe we can remove the dead animals.  This is the living room, after all, not the dead room.  Why is that painting hung so high?

That sure is a bright sweater.

Your patio is, uh, big.  Will you be finishing all those projects before buyers arrive?

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They’re halfway to 99 bottles of wine on the wall.  What’s worse?  Full bottles or empty bottles?

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Making a first impression in Chula Vista, California.  Total cost to clear it out: $0.

Knives are creepy.  How many do you really need?  From a Phoenix kitchen.

Collections of coffee mugs, grape clusters, and refrigerator magnets.  But at least the counter is cleared.  Glendale, Arizona.  Total cost to clear the walls & fridge: $1 for a tube of spackle.

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What in the world is going on here?!  Rotten bananas, cows, cooking pans nailed to the wall, a million stickers, plastic sunflowers, refrigerator magnets.  All that’s missing is a crocheted water jug cozie!

Maybe they could use the credit card to hire a housekeeper, a carpet cleaner, and a home stager.

The hodgepodge room?

Here’s the story behind this home.  They bought it in 1997 for $87,000.  Refinanced in 2003 for $101,000.  Refinanced again in January 2006 for $158,000.  And then refinanced eleven months later in December 2006 for $204,000.  Then it sold in 2012 as a short sale for $50,000.

One flew over the cuckoo’s nest.

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Let’s help this messy Mesa, Arizona home, starting in the kitchen.  Everthing on top of the cabinets should go; it tells buyers that this kitchen has too little storage.  Counters and refrigerator cleared off.  Total cost: $0.

Looks like a very nicely remodeled bathroom under all that clutter.  Are jugs of water necessary?  Clear off the counters and remove the hair dryer.  Total cost:  $0.

No negative space makes for a negative space.  Not every inch of a wall needs to be covered up.  Leave some blank areas (e.g., negative space).

Out back, you could move the glider chair around and then move the white table onto the patio surrounded by the chairs.  Remove the other items.  Total cost:  $0.

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