Ugly House Photos

There was a time when cork and mirror tiles were popular.  1970s?  How fun is it to remove them?  These people gave up.

This home features a full wall of mirror tiles with diamond accents.

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Another home needing staging advice and assistance.

Christmas decorations (lights, candy canes) still up in May.  Half dirt, half grass lawn.  Weight bench in the front yard.

Christmas tree is up.  Lots of family photos.  Cutesy sayings (”I Love You 2 Gore”??) (”Love Always & Forever”).  If they cleared everything out but the furniture, this would be a very nice room (nice floor, nice paint, nice size).

In case they get lost, the signage tells them the next room is the family room.  [Editor: I blocked out their name.]

Very dark family room.

They painted the walls with black paint.

When buyers see the clothes rack, they will assume the closets are too small.  Cluttered dresser doesn’t help.

There’s a big tree in the child’s room.

One of those glass vessel sinks.  But you can see all the plumbing underneath.

They enclosed the patio so that they could fill it with clutter.

More junk from another angle.

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Wow.  What can we say?

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They used to feature heart-shaped beds and spas at those tacky honeymoon hotels in the Poconos and near Niagara Falls in the 1980s.  These Phoenix homeowners thought they would become honeymooners again with their ultra-ugly cultured marble heart-shaped jetted bathtub, complemented by ugly pink walls and mirrored tiles.

This is the shower area (the surround walls have been removed).  We are really hoping that those are latex gloves in the sink and not the result of a romantic episode in the hot tub.

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Those window drapes are quite dramatic.  So is the sponge paint and the flowery wallpaper.

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This Swarthmore, Pennsylvania home is so over the top that it’s at the bottom again.  Look at all the stuff piled up around the fireplace?

There’s a banana tree painted on the wall.  In fact, the entire wall is painted to look like a block wall with arches.  Plastic covered sofa!

Monkey see, monkey do in the master bedroom.

The dining room?

Busy looking kitchen.  How will buyers react to this house?  They’ll leave with headaches.

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What’s worse?  The ugly walls with uneven pink paint?  The ugly couches?  The clutter on the walls?  The wallpaper border?

There’s more!  Missing wallpaper border.  Ugly shiny lamp.  Ugly window drapes.

What’s worse?  The red hot wall paint?  The $5 street corner horse blanket?  The shiny gold drapes?  Or the Jonas Brothers posters?

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The last thing people want to see in a bathroom is smeared feces on the walls!  What were they thinking?  What do their friends, family, and guests think?  What do buyers think?  Do they pinch their noses and run out the door?

Another Phoenix home decided to do a similar feces-inspired paint design too.

It was so successful, they did it in the next bathroom!  For regular viewers of this blog, you’ll recognize the infamous John F. Long builder cabinets.  Fun.

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You wonder if the guy at the Home Depot paint counter was secretly laughing when the order was placed.  Check out the crazy color choices at this Phoenix home.

Purple, blue, green, yellow, and red in the kitchen.  Buyers love dark kitchens?

Yellow, green, and blue in the living room (and on the ceiling) with wallpaper border too.

Blue and mustard yellow in a bedroom.  They might have spray painted the floor with black paint; see the over spray on the closet wall?

Orange and green in a room with no windows.  The bent ceiling fan blades tell me this was probably a foreclosure home and the owner was mad.  Ceiling fans never come down by pulling on them.  I’ve seen this a hundred times.  Eventually the angry person gives up.

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In every aspect of life, half of the people will be below average and half will be above average.  Here’s a Phoenix home that brings down the average for everyone.

Crazy kitchen design.  Apple trees.  Silver paint background.  Red everywhere.  Gold paint accents.  They even put gold paint over the tile grout.

The ugly living room with various paint colors and other designs.  And the peel-and-stick vinyl tiles aren’t staying down.

They remodeled the bathroom themselves with stones and flagstone pieces.

The other bathroom has unfinished paint work.  Silver paint on some of the cabinetry.  Peeling vinyl floor tiles again.

The master bedroom with ugly sponge painting.  The ceiling was not faux painted; that’s a bad repair job.

They converted the garage into a bedroom, a stupid idea.  Buyers want garages.  Ugly paint, bad ceiling again, ugly mirrors, ugly floor.  Someone please buy this house and make it normal again.

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