Ugly House Photos

Stretching the definition of “updated kitchen.”

We’ve got your back (exposed).

This kitchen looks tired.

The deer wears his sunglasses at night. It’s actually perfect, because Corey Hart sang the song, and a hart is a male red deer. Clever.

Don’t cry over spilled oil.

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On Saturdays, we like to share Before & After remodeling/renovation photos with you.  From ugly duckling to beautiful swan.  Not so today.  A nice clean home was filled with clutter and junk in 8 years.

Before Front of House.  Here’s how it looked in 2004 when it was purchased for $149,000.  Clean and tidy front yard.

After Front of House.  How it looks in 2012.  It was recently sold as a short sale for $38,000, no thanks to its condition as you’ll see.

Before Back Yard.  With trees, green grass, and a play pool.

After Back Yard.  Filled to the brim with junk and clutter.  Hoarder alert.

After Garage.  It was empty and clean when purchased.  Now it’s filled with junk and dust.

After Patio.  Filled with more stuff.

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The can of bug spray is the highlight of this cluttered fireplace.

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Bearskin rug, stuffed bear, and a cheetah in a Netherlands home.

Javelina, elk, and deer heads on display in Phoenix.

She won a trophy for being a wife who puts up with dead deer in their bedroom.  Orangeburg, South Carolina.

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Wait ’til you see the last photo!!

Taxidermy on display in a Phoenix home.  Lots of it.

Same house.  It is all necessary to be shown while selling?

These two deers are too dear for words.  Gilbert, Arizona.

It’s a fake deer!!  It sings & talks!  Glendale, Arizona.

You can see a YouTube video of Buck the Talking Deer here.  It’s embarrassing.  It sings “Rawhide.”

Found one more.  Mesa, Arizona.

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Let’s go on a listing presentation and pretend we are going to sell this home.

Thank you for inviting me over.  Show me your home.  Let’s start in the kitchen.  Would I like some leftover spaghetti?  No thank you.

No, really, you don’t have to heat it up for me.

Nice to meet you, sir.  I see you like baseball caps.  There are two on display on the cabinets.  Will those be staying there while the house is up for sale?

Oh, you have a son.  Maybe he can help you clear off the refrigerator.

Let’s go over the paperwork to list your home for sale.  Then we’ll look at the rest of the house.

This is your master bedroom.  I’m not a big fan of clothes and lumpy beds.  Can we straighten this up before buyers arrive?

I see you went with a monochromatic color scheme in the living room.  Did you sponge paint the room and ceiling yourself?  I can tell.

Maybe we can remove the dead animals.  This is the living room, after all, not the dead room.  Why is that painting hung so high?

That sure is a bright sweater.

Your patio is, uh, big.  Will you be finishing all those projects before buyers arrive?

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Even the gun is camouflaged.  Carbondale, Illinois home.

Baseball caps!!  Bow & arrow.  Fan of The Hunger Games?  Now we know where the other closet door is.

His sister likes leopard print.

Maybe mom will have a talk with her about that Chris Brown t-shirt.  Not quite an appropriate role model for young (or older) women.

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Stare into my eyes.  And count backwards from 10.  You are now in my control.  You will buy this house and pay full price.

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Animal hides hanging from the curtain rod.  Are they tanning the hides, drying them, or using them as curtains.

How ’bout we hide the hides or we’ll seek another house.

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Last night’s Hoarders TV show featured a dirty home covered in cobwebs and dust.  This is a taxidermy deer, believe it or not.

Another view.  Oh, deer!

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