Ugly House Photos

Photos sent to us from Jennifer.  Thanks, Jennifer!

Go big or go home, they say.  Or go all out in your own home, as seen in this heavily decorated house in The Woodlands, Texas.  Looks like a shabby chic gift shop/antique store.

The owner can’t figure out why maids keep quitting after one week.

Even the carpet is busy.  The seller is sitting down in the bottom right area of the photo (faced blocked to protect the innocent).

Could make for a cool bed & breakfast.  But when selling, might need to tone it down a bit.

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What is that?

Funereal floral failure.  Depressing.

Wallpaper wainscoting and ceiling border too.  Ugh.

“New drywall” is usually a desirable feature.  Unless it’s unfinished drywall.  Thanks for nothing, Mr. Seller.

Got leaks?  Thanks for not fixing it, Mr. Seller.

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Really?  A loft bedroom in Tomah, Wisconsin.  Ugly drapes.  Stained bed pad!!  Yuk.

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There’s nothing like the spirit of the Southwest to lift your mood.

Authentic Southwest landscape painting.

Back to a time when rivers flowed year ’round in the desert.

Cracked pottery!  Always smashing.  Shard not to like it.

Southwest décor lamps!!

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Hope it doesn’t smell like it looks.  Rice Lake, Wisconsin.

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One of my friends has a high-powered job in Phoenix and is well respected.  He recently had dinner with a rich friend who asked him, “Why are you living in Phoenix?  There’s no life there.  And no culture there.”  He criticized Phoenix as a nothing city.  Nothing interesting. Boring.  Why would anyone live there?  He told my friend to move out of Phoenix as soon as possible.  He told others at the dinner table that anyone who lives in Phoenix is not a mover or a shaker.  No companies are headquartered in Phoenix.  He said people just lead boring lives in Phoenix.  And he ended his tirade with a question, “How can you be mentally stimulated in Phoenix?  There is no culture.  How do you find intelligent people?”

I guess I’ve got it all wrong for living in Phoenix.  I’ve been missing out for over 40 years.  Wasted my life here.  This pretentious snob, by the way, lives in Houston, Texas.

So let’s see what Houston has to offer.  Like this Houston home that’s currently for sale.  Looks like it’s oozing with culture and life.

Just like the fans gracing the walls, I’ve become a fan of Houston.  I wanna be a mover and shaker in Houston too!!

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Pensacola, Florida.  A little bit of this, a little bit of that.  A piece of trim is missing.  On purpose?  What’s with the crazy marble tile on the right wall?

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Oh, boy, here we go.  Matching window drapes and bedspread in a Harrisburg, Pennsylvania home.

Let’s do it again in the next bedroom!

Floral wallpaper and ugly orange & red carpet in the bathroom.  How old is that carpet and how much moisture (water and urine) has it collected over the decades?

Did they use a bathroom rug in the living room?  Yellow-green carpet!

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Tasteful?  Not too over-the-top?  Understated?  Trendy?  Are these words we’d use to describe this Paradise Valley, Arizona bedroom?

“Yep, the bed fits perfectly.  And it blocks the window nicely too.  Do you like the faux paint treatment?  I was worried since I didn’t buy enough paint.”

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I had the pleasure of viewing this, uh, interesting mountainside home in Phoenix this week.  In a setting of million dollar homes and views, the previous owners cheapened the house, in my opinion, with horrific faux paint as you’ll soon see. 

They were a little upset that the house went into foreclosure; the return vent was kicked in.  Every wall, and I mean EVERY wall, was painted with bright colors and finished off with gold sponge paint.

Let your eyes readjust for a moment.  Here’s the front yard of the house.  The lot size is 1.2 acres.  Hilltop home with nearly 360-degree views.  It’s quite a walk up to the house.

Check out the dirt driveway.  All rutted from erosion.

OK, now back to the horror.  This is the living room.  Green with gold sponge paint.  Entirely green.  Nearly every square inch.  The room in the background is also green.

The kitchen with ugly red paint with gold sponge paint.

They ripped out tile at the front entry (seen here), the master bath, and two other locations.  Was probably custom-made mosaic that they wanted to take (or sell).  The house was listed for $2,877,000 in February 2008.  It didn’t sell.

It was re-listed in April 2008 at $2,250,000.  It didn’t sell.  It was listed again in September 2008 as a short sale for $1,200,000.  It didn’t sell.

Media room/movie theatre with green padded wall and ceiling cushions.  The house went into foreclosure and was taken back by the bank in 2009.  The bank listed it for $735,000 in April 2009, then dropped it to $550,000.  It’s now listed at $479,000.

Downstairs family room with lots of damage.  That’s a wet bar in the corner.

The family room with floor tile on the wall (repeated in several other rooms).  In my opinion, this home was poorly designed.  It’s a hilltop home but has view windows from the living room and master bedroom and that’s all.  Surprisingly, the house is very dark.  The media room, the family room, and the next two photos are the basement floor with no windows at all.  How can you entertain guests in darkness?  The only way down there is by a narrow staircase off the back of the kitchen.  Creepy.

I expected sunshine in a mountainside home so didn’t bring a flashlight.  These photos were taken in total darkness, using the camera flash to light my way.  Flash and walk 10 feet.  Flash and walk 10 feet.

In the dark, I thought that thing in the corner was an ugly water fountain.  But it’s actually part of the mountain!  To the left of it was another room, used as an office.  All that time spent installing tile and rock veneer!  In total darkness.  It’s like a mine in Chile.

The master bedroom with tacky green and gold paint.  They spent so much money on tacky decor in this house.

The master bedroom smells of pet urine.  And you can see why.

These are the steps leading to the front door.  Uh, where’s the railing??!!  How dangerous is this staircase??

Looking down from the top of the stairs.  One slip and you’re a goner.  The dirt driveway has eroded onto the stairs.

The house is 5 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, 5000 square feet.  So much work needed, small kitchen, dark rooms, etc. that it’s really a tear-down.  What a shame.  What a waste.

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