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Fake Plants & Flowers - In ugly Homes

Ugly Homes – Fake Plants & Flowers

by Blake Zoolender

Please Move Out of the Way

We’re trying to take real estate photos to promote the house.  Please get up from the couch.  And turn off the TV.

man person in real estate promotional photo picture sitting on couch sofa Phoenix Arizona home house

Please get up from the table and remove the dog.  Thank you.

man woman person dog in real estate promotional photo picture Mesa Arizona home house

It’s not funny.  Please get out of the picture.

man person smiling in real estate promotional photo picture Mesa Arizona home house

Please hurry up and go outside.  And while you’re out there, try to find the missing cabinet door.  [Thanks to our reader, Grumpy, for the correction; the cabinet door is open].

man person in real estate promotional photo picture Phoenix Arizona home house for sale

Holding the door closed won’t solve the problem.  Please repair it before buyers show up.

man person in real estate promotional photo picture Phoenix Arizona home house for sale

You do keep a very clean house.  Now please step back.

woman lady person in real estate promotional photo picture Phoenix Arizona home house for sale

Please turn on some lights on your way out.

woman baby person in real estate promotional photo picture Phoenix Arizona home house for sale

It might be time to remove the Santa lights, the plastic tree, the wreath, and the culturally insensitive sleeping man statue.  Oh, and the porch light is crooked.

woman person in real estate photo picture Santa lights Glendale Arizona home house for sale

Good idea.  Clear off the table.

woman person in real estate promotional photo picture Peoria Arizona home house for sale

He’s texting mom to clear off her bed.  [Leesville, Louisiana]

boy person texting in real estate promotional photo picture Leesville Louisiana home house for sale

Family Room Staging Flaws

Suggestions for making this family room look nicer:  clear it out completely, clean the dirty dog door flap, remove the cheap vinyl floor tiles, and repaint the room.

cluttered messy disorganized family room poor bad home staging Phoenix Arizona house

Putting away the clothes and shoes would be a big help for this family room.  And clearing up/off the desk and wall clutter.

cluttered messy disorganized family room poor bad home staging Phoenix Arizona house

The fall décor should be packed away.  Too many clashing colors.  Remove the book cases if possible.

cluttered messy too many books fake vines plants Sun City Arizona poor bad home staging house

This family room sure looks drab, dull, and dusty.

cluttered family room too many books drab boring dusty dull Mesa Arizona poor bad home staging house

Festive Vines

These Mesa, Arizona sellers wrapped vines around their front porch columns.  Could look nice for Christmas, but this was published in July.

dumb idea wrapping fake plastic vines around front porch columns Mesa Arizona home house

Might be nice if the vines were real, but there are no planters or holes in the concrete for the plants.  Must be plastic.

dumb idea wrapping fake plastic vines around front porch columns Mesa Arizona home house

Roosters Rule the Roost

These Peoria, Arizona sellers have a rooster & chicken collection in their kitchen.

rooster chicken fowl collection collectibles on display kitchen too much Peoria Arizona home house staging

It dominates the space.

rooster chicken fowl collection collectibles on display kitchen too much Peoria Arizona home house staging

She was feeling cocky.

rooster chicken fowl collection collectibles on display kitchen too much Peoria Arizona home house staging

This is egg-actly how she envisioned her dream kitchen.

rooster chicken fowl collection collectibles on display kitchen too much Peoria Arizona home house staging

Her best-laid plans were ruined when the idea to sell was hatched.

rooster chicken fowl collection collectibles on display kitchen too much Peoria Arizona home house staging

The family room is starting to fill up.

too much stuff on display family room photos poor home staging Peoria Arizona house for sale

110 degrees.  Not how you want to sell your home to out-of-state buyers.  It is a dry heat (only 16% humidity).

TV television set is on 110 degrees real estate photo picture Peoria Arizona home house for sale

Wait.  It’s 110 degrees and she has a hoard of blankets.

too many blankets bedroom real estate photo picture Peoria Arizona home house for sale

And a lot of old dirty pillows.  Frankenstein does not approve.

dirty old yellowed pillows Frankenstein picture bedroom Peoria Arizona home house for sale

Knot Again!!

Ugh.  This trend of tying curtains in knots still shows up in real estate listings.  Make it stop.

Believe it or not, the knotted curtains look better than the ugly sponge paint and plastic flowers.

ugly dumb design trend knotted knotting window curtains drapes Phoenix Arizona home house

Dumb.

ugly dumb design trend knotted knotting window curtains drapes Phoenix Arizona home house

Ugly from both angles.

ugly dumb design trend knotted knotting window curtains drapes Phoenix Arizona home house

Why?  [Thank you, Mahler, for noticing the baby on the couch.  She covered her face in embarrassment.]

ugly dumb design trend knotted knotting window curtains drapes Phoenix Arizona home house

“Why knot?,” they reply.  Same room; different angle.

ugly dumb design trend knotted knotting window curtains drapes Phoenix Arizona home house

It’s spread to Gilbert, Arizona.

ugly dumb design trend knotted knotting window curtains drapes Gilbert Arizona home house

And now it’s showing up in Ulysses, Kansas.

ugly dumb design trend knotted knotting window curtains drapes Ulysses Kansas home house

For the Frill of It

Frilly window curtains in a Campbellville, Kentucky home.

Angel wings?

hideous ugly tacky gaudy frilly frills window curtains drapes covering Campbellville Kentucky home house

Frilly drapes.

hideous ugly tacky gaudy frilly frills window curtains drapes covering Campbellville Kentucky home house

The curtains complement the plastic flowers.

hideous ugly tacky gaudy frilly frills window curtains drapes covering Campbellville Kentucky home house

Here’s another view of the bedroom.

fake plastic flowers ugly frills window curtains drapes covering Campbellville Kentucky home house

We are confident she’ll add frills to these curtains before the buyers move in.

ugly window curtains drapes covering Campbellville Kentucky home house for sale photo

Living Wild

Five cluttered living rooms.  Not quite ready for buyers.

Marshalltown, Iowa living room.  Dirty carpet and a whole lot of stuff.

cluttered disorganized messy living room poor bad home staging Marshalltown Iowa house for sale

There are many items that could be removed before selling in this Canton, Ohio living room.

cluttered disorganized living room poor bad home staging Canton Ohio house for sale

These Phoenix sellers are using their old TV as a stand for their current TV which could become a stand for a new flat-screen TV.

cluttered disorganized living room poor bad home staging Phoenix Arizona house for sale

A lot of unnecessary items in another Phoenix living room.

cluttered disorganized living room poor bad home staging Phoenix Arizona house for sale

They need to iron out a few details for home staging in another Phoenix living room.

cluttered living room poor bad home staging ironing board Phoenix Arizona house for sale

Imagine All Things

This is the primary photo for a Mesa, Arizona home listing.  It’s the only photo of the front of the house.

photo of garage door Mesa Arizona home house for sale real estate

Now there’s a photo of the garage door lifted.  Say hello to the cat.

photo of open garage door cat Mesa Arizona home house for sale real estate

Now we go inside to the dining room and see a vacuum cleaner, fake flowers, and a little girl.

little girl vacuum fake flowers dining room Mesa Arizona home house for sale real estate photo

There’s a close-up of a cabinet.  Are they planning to fix the broken drawer on the left?

close-up photo of cabinet damaged broken drawer Mesa Arizona home house for sale

Imagine all things, it says.

imagine all things written on bedroom wall Mesa Arizona home house for sale

50% Reduction Recommended

Looks like a fairly clean house in Peoria, Arizona, but could benefit from removing half of the belongings.  Does she really need two dozen towels?  And oil lamps?

cluttered too many items things belonging poor home staging bedroom Peoria Arizona house

Oil lamps!

cluttered too many items things belonging poor home staging bedroom Peoria Arizona house

A lot of stuff in the bonus room.

cluttered too many items things belonging poor home staging bonus room Peoria Arizona house

Giant stuffed animal in the living room plus stuff piled up by the front door.

cluttered too many items things belonging poor home staging living room Peoria Arizona house

A freezer is always handy in a family room.

cluttered too many items things belonging poor home staging family room Peoria Arizona house

Must be fun to dust.

cluttered too many items things belonging poor home staging family room Peoria Arizona house

The hand towel looks dirty.

cluttered too many items things belonging poor home staging kitchen Peoria Arizona house

Thank you for the close-up picture.

cluttered too many items things belonging poor home staging kitchen Peoria Arizona house

Fake plants, bears, and moose in the bathroom.

cluttered too many items things belonging poor home staging bathroom Peoria Arizona house

Please put away your medication when selling.

cluttered too many items things belonging poor home staging bathroom Peoria Arizona house

The patio of mismatched furniture, bed boards, a shovel, and peeling paint.

cluttered too many items things belonging poor home staging patio Peoria Arizona house

They have a tiled floor.  Wouldn’t cost much to stage this home.  Boxes is it and some time to pack up the items.  Why not polish the apple and make it shine?

close-up photo picture of tiled floor dog toy kong two stools Peoria Arizona house home for sale

Time To Dust

Fake flowers.  Brass & glass light.  Dust collectors.

fake flowers plants vines brass glass light dusty foyer entry Chandler Arizona home house for sale

See our article on the amazingly ugly home wallpapers you should avoid.

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